


Aftermath

by Calico_Cat_TIVA_Fan



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-13 05:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14743031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calico_Cat_TIVA_Fan/pseuds/Calico_Cat_TIVA_Fan
Summary: On top of everything else in Season 10, Tony and Ziva have something much more personal to deal with on the heels of the death of Ilan Bodnar. Tag to Season 10, Episode 22, "Revenge." Part of the "You Complete Me" universe.





	1. Winding Down

Aftermath

_Ziva and Tony have to deal with something much more personal on top of everything else in S10. Tag to S10 Ep22 "Revenge"_

Chapter 1: Winding Down

"It is over." Ziva assured Leon Vance, and, she secretly admitted, herself as well.

He nodded at her and told her to go home, strongly suggesting that she take a few days off. When she protested, he responded, "That's an order, Agent David." After Ziva left his office, Leon sent a text message to Tony, ' _I told Agent David to go home and to take a few days off. Please make sure she does just that_.'

Tony heard the incoming text message signal from his phone as Ziva came down the stairs from Vance's office. He saw the Director's message, replying immediately, ' _Will do. Me too?_ ' Within a minute the reply came back, ' _Yes, I will handle Gibbs. L_ ' The 'L' at the end of the message told Tony more than the rest of it. This was personal as far as Vance was concerned, for both Ziva and Tony, and for Vance himself. Tony replied as Ziva came around the partition by his desk, ' _Thanks._ '

Tony watched Ziva slowly lower herself into her desk chair. She barely moved her right arm, the one with the shoulder injury from the accident. He could see her wince as she tried to get her purse out of her desk drawer, and then again as she reached for her bag.

Tony jumped up, "Let me help you, Ziva. Please." He made eye contact with her, letting her know he would not back down. "You are hurt, let me do the guy stuff," he spoke softly so only she could hear him. "Let me take care of you. Okay?"

Ziva sighed and nodded; she would take the help, mostly because it was Tony offering. She let him pack her bag and then get her purse from the bottom left drawer of her desk. He put everything on her desk top and smiled at her. "Sit right there while I pack up my stuff. Then we'll go home and get some dinner and some sleep."

Tony quickly packed up his bag and shut down his computer. He walked back to Ziva's desk and picked up her bag, then offered her a hand to help her up. She stood up unsteadily, putting a hand on her desk to brace herself. Tony moved to her left side quickly and gently put an arm around her. "I am fine, Tony. I just moved too quickly when I stood up."

"You don't look fine, Zi. Just lean on me while we walk out. We'll go as slow as you need so that it doesn't hurt." Tony looked at Ziva with concern. He would make sure she had him for support if she needed it.

Once in the elevator, Ziva relaxed into Tony. They were alone in the car. "Thank you, Tony." Ziva whispered, "You are my best friend." She placed a kiss on his cheek. He turned towards her and brushed his lips on hers. She smiled a tired smile at him.

"So let me do the best friend things, Zi." He smiled at her, that special smile that only she got to see. It warmed her to see it.

Tony helped Ziva to the car, putting their bags in the trunk and then helping Ziva get into the passenger seat. She struggled with the seat belt, her injured shoulder making it hard for her to pull the belt to latch it. Tony gently put his hand on the buckle and guided it into the latch. "It's okay to ask for help," he reminded her. She gritted her teeth, but nodded.

As he drove to Ziva's apartment, he watched her. She was trying not to move at all, and he could tell the seat belt was making her shoulder and side hurt. He knew she would never admit to the pain, but just the way she was clenching her jaw and trying not to grimace; it must have hurt like hell. He wished he could take her pain away.

At her building, Tony parked as close as he could to the entry door. He helped Ziva out of the car, being careful around her injured shoulder. She leaned on him as he wrapped his arm around her left side, guiding her towards the door. Inside, she looked at the stairs and sighed. Tony noticed, and he picked Ziva up from her left side, carrying her with her left side against his chest. "Wrap your arm around my neck, Zi."

Tony carried her up the flight of stairs to her floor, and then put her down just outside her door. He unlocked the door with his key and started to pick her up again. "I can walk inside, Tony. Let me lean on you like outside." He wrapped his arm around Ziva from the left side again and helped her to the sofa.

"Sit here and relax, Ziva. I will take care of dinner." He helped her take her shoes off and then arranged some of the throw pillows by her right side. "I think we have some left over chicken Alfredo in the fridge that I can heat up." She nodded her agreement and slowly eased back against the pillows.

Tony split the left over chicken Alfredo into two bowls and heated each one in the microwave. He took the first heated bowlful to Ziva where she sat on the sofa and set up a tray table for her to use. He placed a fork, knife, napkin and a glass of wine for her. She smiled at him, brushing her hand on his, "Toda, Tony." He went back to get his own dinner and set up the other tray table next to Ziva's. He sat down close to her, but not too close as he didn't want to cause her any discomfort. He could see that every motion was causing pain.

They ate the meal with very little conversation, but talking with their eyes as usual. Tony got a small laugh from Ziva when he swiped a piece of chicken from her bowl. When he took a piece of chicken from his own bowl and held the fork out to her, she smiled and took the bite. Tony noticed that her eyes smiled too, which he was glad to see.

As he cleared the dishes and flatware from dinner, Tony asked Ziva if she wanted any dessert. "No, Tony. I think I am going to go to bed soon. I am tired."

"Let me get these dishes washed up and then I will help you get ready for bed." Tony figured with the amount of pain he could see Ziva trying to ignore that she might need some help getting her clothes off and into her sleep clothing, if she chose to wear any. They usually slept naked, but with her injuries and what he could see of her bruises, he wasn't sure.

Tony quickly rinsed the dishes and put everything in the dishwasher. He moved to the living room and helped Ziva stand up from the sofa. He wrapped his arm around her left side and she leaned on him to get to the bedroom. Once there, he backed off and watched her struggle with trying to get her top off. She looked at him in frustration, and then softly asked, "Please help me, Tony?" He nodded and moved slowly to her.

He grabbed the hem of her shirt and eased it up her left side, motioning for her to pull her arm through the sleeve. As he did so, he noticed bruises on her sides, abdomen and arms. "Ziva, are these from the accident or the fight?"

"I do not know." She sighed. Tony worked the top over her head and then down her right arm, trying to move her shoulder as little as possible. Even her back had bruises, but the ones that concerned him the most were the ones on her abdomen; they were new and had to be from the fight with Bodnar. He looked closely at one bruise that was forming around her navel.

"Did Bodnar kick you in the stomach, Ziva?"

"No. He threw me against a rail. I think that is how the bruise on my abdomen got there." Ziva had made sure Bodnar had not kicked her, even though he tried several times. She had gotten in a few kicks of her own, landing them in delicate places.

"Do you want anything for the pain?"

"Let me finish undressing and then I will decide." Ziva tried to get her pants off, but again, she struggled. "Tony?" She looked at him watching her. He gently pulled the pants down her legs, and had her rest her left hand on his shoulder to raise her feet so that he could remove the pants from her legs. No wonder she hurt, her entire body seemed to be one massive bruise!

"Pajamas?" Tony asked. Ziva shook her head no.

"The less I put on, the less I have to take off." Tony understood what she meant; less movement equaled less hurt. He helped her to the bathroom to complete her nightly routine. As she did so, he stripped to his boxers, and then helped Ziva to the bed. She eased down to lie on her back. Tony went to brush his teeth and then gently climbed into the bed next to Ziva. She was almost asleep as he brushed his lips on hers. "Laila tov, Tony."

"Laila tov, Ziva." He so wanted to cuddle her, but was afraid of causing her any more pain, so he inched as close as he dared to her and watched her drift to sleep. As her breathing evened out, he also started to doze off.


	2. Pain, the ER and a Diagnosis

Chapter 2: Pain, the ER, and a Diagnosis

The next thing he knew, Ziva was shaking him, "Tony, wake up. We need to strip the bed." He opened an eye to see her looking at him and trying not to move in any way that hurt.

"What?"

"We need to get up so that we can strip the bed. I sort of made a mess. My period started while we were sleeping, and it got all over the sheets." Tony sat up quickly and looked where Ziva was pointing. The bright red stains on the sheets were much larger than he expected.

"Why so much?"

"I have not had a period since I came back from burying my father. I figured all the stress was messing with my cycle. And of course, my body had to pick tonight to start."

"You go get cleaned up, take a shower if you want. I'll strip the bed and put these sheets in the washer and put on fresh sheets." Tony started removing the sheets from the bed. Ziva slowly walked to the bathroom, headed for the shower.

As she showered, she noticed red on the shower floor. She figured out that she had already soaked through the tampon she had inserted less than an hour ago. As she moved to change the tampon for a heavier duty one, she was gripped by abdominal cramps. She doubled over in pain just as Tony was coming to check on her.

"Ziva, what's the matter?" Tony had a look of alarm on his face. "Are you okay?"

"I am fine. I have cramps, which is not unusual for how heavy the flow seems to be. I will be okay, Tony." Something about the tone of her voice made Tony unsure if she was trying to convince him or herself. When she stayed doubled over, he was even more concerned. "Let me get things taken care of with my body, and then we can go lay back on the bed."

He finished putting the fresh sheets on the bed, and put a folded extra-large bath towel on Ziva's side, so that she would have some padding under her. He helped her put on a pair of sleep shorts and move back to the bed, and she lay down curled on her left side with her knees drawn up. "Does it still hurt? Are you cramping a lot? I can get you some pain meds if you need."

"I just want to sleep. Come lie next to me, please?" Ziva sounded as though she was in pain. He lay down next to her and moved as close as he dared. "It is okay to spoon, Tony. I would like that."

Tony moved to Ziva's back and carefully wrapped his arm over her. "Let me know if that hurts your shoulder." Ziva moved slightly to curl into him and sighed. They fell asleep again.

About an hour and a half later, Tony was awakened by Ziva's moans of pain. He felt her trying to double over even more and her whole body felt warm. Gut instinct told him something was seriously wrong. He sat up and noticed tears streaming down Ziva's face. "I am going to help you get out of the bed and we will get you to the ER, Ziva. This is not normal."

"Okay," she responded through gritted teeth. "It hurts so much."

Tony moved around to Ziva's side of the bed and tried to help her stand up. She went limp in his arms. He gently placed her back on the bed and grabbed his phone, dialing 911 as he checked her pulse and breathing. He explained the situation to the 911 dispatcher, giving the man the address and telling him how to find Ziva's apartment. "The ambulance should be there in about five minutes, sir. Stay on the line with me until they arrive, in case they need to have you buzz them in."

Tony unlocked and opened the door as he waited, then went back to Ziva. He noticed that she had curled up into the fetal position and that her breathing seemed better than just a few minutes ago.

"Mr. DiNozzo? EMTs are here." A male voice called from the door. Tony walked to the door, and told the dispatcher that help had arrived.

"Hope it goes well, Mr. DiNozzo." The dispatcher ended the call.

"Back here, in the bedroom," Tony led the EMTs to Ziva. "She had been complaining of bad cramps, and then when I woke up again, she was hurting worse than before. When I tried to help her up, she passed out on me."

The lead EMT looked at Tony and then at Ziva. "Were you in an MVA two or three nights ago? Sorry, motor vehicle accident."

"Yes, both of us. Were you there?" Tony didn't recognize the man, but he had been unconscious until they had arrived at the hospital.

"I thought I recognized you two." The EMT moved to examine Ziva. "Wow, she really bruised up from the accident!"

Tony sighed, "She also was in a fight with a perp about twenty four hours ago, and so she has been beat up on top of being bruised from the accident. We got the guy, so there is some payback."

"What's her name?"

"Ziva."

The EMT tried talking directly to Ziva, "Ziva, if you can understand me, nod your head." Ziva moved her head. "Can you talk?" Ziva nodded again. "Where does it hurt?"

"Feels like my guts are being ripped out. Abdomen mostly." Ziva had tears running from her eyes again.

"Okay, we're going to get you on the stretcher and evaluate you more as we go to the ER." The other EMTs brought the stretcher in and gently lifted Ziva on to it. "We're going to put a blanket over you, and also put up the sides to keep you from rolling off. We have to get you down the stairs, so we are going to put a loose strap restraint over your legs and chest. Are you okay with that?"

Ziva nodded and reached for Tony. He took her hand in his, assuring her that he would stay with her. As the EMTs took Ziva down the stairs, Tony grabbed his and Ziva's phones and his keys and slipped a t shirt over his head. He had put on a pair of jeans before the EMTs arrived.

Outside, the head EMT asked Tony if he wanted to ride in the ambulance with them, or drive and follow the ambulance. Ziva made the decision for him by asking Tony to stay with her. After the stretcher was loaded in the back, Tony climbed in and sat beside Ziva, holding her hand and stroking her face.

"We are going to ask some questions as we go to the ER, so that we can give the doctors as much info as possible. Are you ready?" Tony and Ziva both nodded. While the questions were asked and answered, the other EMT was putting monitors on Ziva and taking vitals.

"On a scale of zero to ten, how bad is your pain?"

"Eight." Tony squeezed Ziva's hand lightly; he had not realized it was that bad; he would stay with her no matter what.

"Have you had this type of pain before?"

"No."

"Do you have any known medical issues that could cause this type of pain?"

"No."

"Are you pregnant?"

"No. "

"Have you had any bleeding?"

"Yes, but I thought it is my period."

"Are you having any other pain or cramps?"

"No," Ziva gasped and drew her knees to her chest.

"Same pain?" Ziva nodded. "Stabbing or tearing feeling?"

"More like really bad cramps. Feels like someone is trying to rip my insides out through my navel."

"How did you get the bruises on your abdomen?"

"I was thrown against a metal railing during a fight."

"Okay, we are almost there. We will try to keep your husband with you." Ziva nodded and neither she nor Tony bothered to correct the EMT's assumption. Tony was more concerned about the level of pain Ziva appeared to be experiencing. He stroked her cheek with his hand, looking into her eyes and seeing the pain.

"I'm here for you, Zi." She squeezed his hand and returned the gaze. Tears were running from her eyes.

Once at the hospital, Ziva was immediately taken into an exam area. The nurse attached monitors to Ziva and checked vitals. She took the report form from the head EMT and skimmed over the information. She lifted the sheet and looked at Ziva's bruised body.

"How did you get all of these bruises?" The nurse looked at Tony with a suspicious eye. He met her glance, and did not back down.

"Car accident and a fight with a perp." Tony responded.

"I want to hear it from her." The nurse glared at Tony.

"Accident and fight." Ziva replied. "We were here three nights ago. Both of us." Tony nodded as the nurse glared at him more.

"I will check the records." Tony felt the woman staring at him. If he were not law enforcement, he would probably be getting upset right about now. But he had seen what one human being could do to another, and DV calls were the worst.

The doctor came to check Ziva just as Tony was about to say something to the nurse.

"Abdominal pain. Ziva, I am going to touch your abdomen. If it hurts, tell me." The doctor gently prodded Ziva, noticing her wince with each touch. Tony felt Ziva's grip on his hand tighten with each touch and he noticed tears leaking from her eyes. She gritted her teeth, "It hurts."

The nurse returned with a tablet and showed the doctor the information from the previous ER visit.

"Left AMA, and the x-ray of the shoulder shows no bone damage, but indications of soft tissue injury were noted. Looks like they both left AMA."

"Ziva, are all the bruises on your body from the accident?"

"No. I was in a fight with a perp."

"About twenty nine hours ago," Tony added. Ziva leaned into Tony's hand on her face. He stroked her cheek and held her hand, watching the doctor closely. Why did they need to rehash the old stuff; just get Ziva some needed relief and help.

"This may hurt, but we are going to do a sonogram on your abdomen to see what damage may be causing the pain. We are also going to start you on an IV, so that we can give you medications once we have a plan."

"Okay." Ziva and Tony responded together. The nurse removed the tampon and put Ziva on a waterproof pad and then added additional padding.

Ziva was moved to the sonography suite and Tony went with her. The sonogram tech took Ziva into the room almost immediately. She squeezed some gel on Ziva's abdomen and prepared to use the wand.

"With all of your bruises and the pain you are experiencing, this is probably going to hurt, but it is the best way to get a picture of what is going on inside you." Ziva nodded that she understood and squeezed Tony's hand. As the tech placed the wand on her, Tony thought Ziva might break his hand. He said nothing, allowing her to have a way to diffuse the pain.

The tech looked at the screen, and made some notes. She moved the wand, and Ziva gasped. "Sorry, I am trying not to hurt you."

"I will be fine."

Tony looked at Ziva; there was no way she was 'fine.' He stroked her cheek and told her to look at him. "Look at me, Zi. Look into my eyes; I'll help you through the pain." Ziva locked her gaze on Tony's eyes. He could see the pain in her eyes, those chocolate orbs that never shut up as far as he was concerned. If he could take her pain away, he would do it in a heartbeat.

The tech moved the wand and made some more notes. She turned to the pair, "Do you want to see your baby?"

"WHAT?" They spoke together.

The tech turned the monitor, and pointed out the developing baby. "You are about twelve weeks pregnant based on the size of the baby." She looked at the pair with their surprised looks. "Did you not know you were pregnant?" They both shook their heads no. "Oh. I am going to get these results to your doctor, and get you back to ER. He will give you a plan for treatment after he reviews the results and pictures."

Too stunned to say anything, they both nodded at the tech. As she left to call to have Ziva moved, Tony turned to Ziva. They met gazes.

"Pregnant?" Ziva was shocked. It hadn't even occurred to her that the reason for the missed periods could be pregnancy.

"I know." Tony was in shock as well. "That's about three months along. Wow."

The orderly came to move Ziva to the ER. Tony walked alongside the stretcher as they navigated the halls. He held Ziva's hand when he could, and was on autopilot, still wrapping his head around the news they had just received. He was going to be a father and Ziva was going to be a mother. OMG.

Ziva was settled into an ER exam room again, and the doctor came in within fifteen minutes. "Now that we know what is going on with you, we can give you something to stop the cramps and help with the pain. You are being admitted, and will be transferred to a room as soon as the process is completed. You will be given naproxen for pain and magnesium sulfate for the cramping via the IV. Both meds are safe for your baby. We will get you started before we move you to a room."

Tony and Ziva both nodded, still trying to grasp the news and wrap their heads around what they had just been told.

The IV meds were started and Ziva was moved to a room on the third floor of the hospital. Tony was allowed to stay with her, not that he would have left even if told he had to. He sat with Ziva, holding her hand. Once she was settled into the bed in the room, Tony placed a kiss on her forehead. Ziva tugged his hand, and pulled him to her. She kissed him on the lips, and he returned the kiss.

The pair rested foreheads on each other and looked into the other's eyes. "Parents; we are going to be parents," Ziva whispered. "I do not know what to say."

"I know," Tony whispered back. "You're going to be a mother, and I am going to be a father. WOW. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all."

The pair sat gazing into each other's eyes, talking with their eyes for nearly half an hour. Ziva started feeling sleepy, as the meds started working their magic. "It's okay to sleep, Zi. I'll be right here. I'm not leaving you." They shared a few more kisses and Tony sat back in the chair, keeping Ziva's hand in his. "Laila tov, Ziva."

"Night, Tony." Ziva had noticed that that bleeding had almost stopped. She had been put on an absorbent pad in case the bleeding continued.

Both drifted to sleep, hands locked together.


	3. Less Pain and More Tests

Chapter 3: Less Pain and More Tests

Ziva woke about 0700. She looked over at Tony, who was sound asleep in the chair, his head back on the backrest, mouth open and snoring. She smiled and squeezed his hand which was still entwined with hers.

"Tony," Ziva spoke quietly, but above a whisper. "Tony! I need to get up and use the bathroom. TONY!"

"Wha? Oh…" Tony opened his eyes and yawned. "Give me a sec and I'll help you." He loosed their hands and stretched and stood up. He helped Ziva sit up and then swing her legs over the side of the bed. He rolled the IV pole so that she could use it and him to stand up. They carefully navigated to the bathroom; Tony moved around Ziva to help her turn and sit on the toilet. He moved outside the door to let her have some privacy and stretched again.

"Tony, I am ready to get up."

"K." He moved into the bathroom again and raised Ziva to her feet. She moved to the sink to wash her hands and then he guided her back to the bed. Once he got her settled, he yawned again. "Be right back; my turn."

Ziva lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes. The pain was definitely less than last night. Her bruises still hurt, but the pain in her abdomen was mostly gone. She put her hand on her belly, thinking about the tiny life that was growing inside her. Her child, THEIR child, hers and Tony's. Were they ready for this? What would Gibbs say? How would the team react to their news? How would she and Tony deal with this news? She loved him and she knew he loved her, but were they ready to become parents?

Tony came out of the bathroom about the same time as a doctor walked in the door.

"Good morning," the doctor looked so young to Tony. "I am Doctor Jose' Garcia and I will be your primary physician while you are here. I'm an OB/GYN, and if you wish, you can continue with me as your doctor when you are discharged.

"I'm going to palpate your abdomen, Ziva. If it hurts let me know, please." He placed his hands on Ziva's belly and gently prodded. Tony noticed that she only winced one time; much, much better than last night! "I understand that you did not know that you're pregnant?" Ziva nodded as he continued, "We will need to do another sonogram, more detailed to see if the abdominal injuries have put the baby at risk in any way. I have scheduled that for this morning. You will need to drink about two liters of water so that your bladder is full; it will help get a better image.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

Ziva looked at Tony and both responded, "No."

"I am going to ask you some questions to get your medical history and I will have my assistant bring you some forms to complete for more details. Is that okay?"

Ziva nodded. "Yes."

"First question; how old were you when you started your period?"

"Fifteen."

"Have you had regular periods since then?"

"Yes and no."

Dr. Garcia looked up at her, nodding at her to explain more.

"When I was in training, sometimes I would skip several months." Ziva hesitated and Tony squeezed her hand. He knew she was now thinking about Somalia. She looked at him and he met her gaze, offering her silent support through his eyes. The doctor noticed the gaze, and knew they were silently communicating. Whatever was causing her to hesitate must be major.

"I… I… was repeatedly… assaulted… in captivity…" Ziva never broke her gaze from Tony's eyes. He held her hand, again giving it a squeeze, encouraging her to share as much as she could. "I was told afterwards…" Ziva choked back a sob. "I was told…" She nodded at Tony to continue for her.

"She was told that she could not have children."

"When was this?" The doctor was horrified by what she must have experienced, but kept his face neutral and his comments unemotional.

"Summer of 2009; not quite four years ago." Ziva responded, her voice flat.

"What have your periods been like since then?"

"About every thirty five to forty days, mostly light or moderate flow. No cramping or pain."

"When was your last period?"

"January twentieth."

"Why did you not suspect that you might be pregnant?"

"My father was killed in January. I was under a lot of stress and I figured the stress was interfering with my cycle. It has happened before. Plus I have been told that I cannot get pregnant by several doctors."

Tony rubbed his thumb on the back of Ziva's hand. Her voice tone told him that she had gone into her "Mossad mode;" emotionless voice, flat delivery of the facts. He hated to see her this way, but if it got the information the doctor needed, so be it.

"Were you or are you using any form of birth control?"

"I was on the pill from the time I was sixteen. I stopped about a year ago, because it did not seem necessary since I was told that I could not get pregnant."

"Who is the father, if I may ask?"

"Tony." Ziva looked at her best friend, her lover as she said his name. He met her gaze and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand again.

"I assume you are Tony?" Dr. Garcia looked at Tony who nodded. "How long have you been together?"

"It's complicated…" Ziva started.

"Short version, eight years," Tony replied.

"Have you had any prior pregnancies, either terminated or full term?"

"No."

"Have you had any abdominal surgeries or trauma other than the most recent injuries and the events from 2009?"

"No."

"Great. That is all I need for now. I will stop by this evening and we will discuss the results from the sonogram. Do either of you have any questions?"

"No; thanks." Tony squeezed Ziva's hand as she responded and he shook his head.

As Dr. Garcia left, Ziva's breakfast tray arrived. The smell of the food made Tony hungry, and he realized that they hadn't had anything to eat since their dinner the previous night. A covered plate, a container of apple sauce, orange juice and a container of milk were on the tray. Ziva took the lid off the plate to reveal scrambled eggs, slices of turkey bacon and two pieces of toast cut in half diagonally. Packets of jelly were next to the toast.

"I do not think I can eat all of that; do you want half, Tony?" Ziva grinned at him; she knew he would not say no to food.

"Okay. We can share." Tony eyed the bacon, hoping to snag a piece as Ziva was unwrapping the plastic utensils.

She noticed his hand moving slowly in the direction of the bacon and swatted it. "Patience, Tony." He gave her a sheepish grin; busted! She knew him too well. "You may have the orange juice and I will drink the milk. We will split the eggs, bacon and toast. I am not sure if I want the applesauce or not." She handed Tony the knife to put jelly on his toast halves; he put grape jelly on his own and then on her pieces, he put the strawberry preserves, knowing that was one of her favorites. She smiled at him and handed him the fork, taking the spoon for herself. "Give me back the knife, so that I have something to use with the spoon, please."

"I don't know, Zi. You and knives, you know?" Ziva laughed, and it was music to Tony's ears. He handed her the knife and they ate the food together. They ended up sharing the applesauce.

Ziva suggested that they keep the utensils and rinse them in the sink for use for later meals. Tony agreed and took all three pieces to wash them. He put the clean utensils on the nightstand and poured a cup of water for Ziva. "Remember, you are supposed to drink two liters of water before the sonogram." She nodded and drank from the cup.

Tony picked up the TV remote while they were waiting for someone to take Ziva to the sonography area. Not much was on, so he flipped the channels, finally settling on a black and white western movie. Ziva watched Tony as he changed the channels. He watched her out of the corner of his eye.

Ziva laughed and put her hand on Tony's face, turning him so that they locked gazes. "Tony, I…"

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. "I'm here to take you to sonography," a female in scrubs announced. She had a wheelchair for Ziva. When the tech saw Ziva eying the chair, she hurriedly explained, "Sorry, it's hospital policy. We don't want you falling on the floor while you are moving around. These hooks are for your IVs, so we can leave the pole here."

She helped Ziva get into the chair and then moved the IVs to the hooks. Tony asked if he could come along and she nodded. Ziva looked relieved that Tony could go with her.

In the sonography waiting area, they sat about fifteen minutes. When it was Ziva's turn, her name was called, "Ziva David." Of course, the person pronounced it 'day-vid' and Tony quickly corrected her.

"It's Dah-VEED; Hebrew pronunciation."

"And you are?"

"Tony DiNozzo, her…" Tony wasn't quite sure how to describe his relationship with Ziva.

"Partner and significant other;" Ziva finished the sentence, squeezing Tony's hand in hers. "He gets a bit protective of me."

"Of course," the tech motioned for the pair to follow her to the sonography room. "Have you had a sonogram before?"

"Last night."

"Okay, so you know how this goes. Have you had plenty of water to drink?" Ziva nodded. "Okay, we'll get you on the bed here and get you ready for the exam. Just get comfortable, Ms. David. Mr. DiNozzo, you can sit on the left side." She motioned to a chair next to the bed. Tony moved over to sit down, taking Ziva's hand in his again. He was glad it was her left side, so he didn't have to worry about her injured shoulder.

The tech lifted Ziva's hospital gown, draping a sheet over her legs and hips for privacy. She looked at the bruises on Ziva and glanced at Tony. "How did you get all these bruises?"

"Car accident four days ago and a fight with a perp two days ago. I was thrown against a metal railing during the fight." Ziva hated that everyone who saw her bruises even thought that Tony could have done that to her. "We were both in the accident."

"Oh. We will be doing a much more detailed and hence longer imaging than you had last night. When I move the wand and press it to get images from inside you, it may hurt some. Let me know if it gets too much on the pain and we can take a break." She squirted the gel on Ziva's abdomen and prepared for the first set of images.

Tony touched Ziva's cheek and turned her face towards him, "Look at me, Zi; we'll do like last night. It will help with any pain." Ziva gazed into Tony's eyes as he looked back into hers. He held her left hand with his right and caressed her face with his left hand.

After about forty minutes of the tech taking images, moving the wand, taking notes and screen captures, she asked the pair if they wanted to see the baby. Both nodded and she turned the screen so they could see the image.

Tony looked at the tiny human on the screen, "Is that, is it, the heart beating?" He asked the question in a whisper.

"Yes." The tech pointed out the heart, lungs and other forming internal organs. Ziva had tears in her eyes and when she glanced at Tony, she noticed a tear sliding down his cheek.

"Wow. Zi, we created that!" Tony was grinning at her. "That's our baby. OUR baby!" Ziva loosed her hand from his and moved it to his face. She tried not to let her tears spill, but her eyes started leaking on their own.

"OUR baby," Ziva repeated. "Wow." She smiled at Tony through her tears.

The tech discretely turned away from the couple to allow them some time alone viewing their child. Tony leaned in and kissed Ziva, and she returned the kiss. They leaned their foreheads together, making contact with their eyes as well. Had the tech not cleared her throat, they probably would have stayed that way for a long time.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we are done, so you can go back to your room. Your doctor will have the results and images within the next several hours. Do you want a screen shot to take with you?"

"YES!" Both Ziva and Tony replied immediately. The tech handed them a printed photo with the date and time and 'Baby David/DiNozzo' in the upper corner. Tony smiled at the image and kissed Ziva one more time before helping her stand and move to the wheelchair.


	4. Guarded News and a Rough Night

Chapter 4: Guarded News and a Rough Night

When the pair got back to Ziva's room, her lunch tray was waiting on the bed table. Tony helped her into the bed and she adjusted the back so she could sit up comfortably. Tony slid the table over the bed and Ziva lifted the cover on the plate. Lunch was soup, a turkey and cheese sandwich, a fruit cup and apple juice and milk. Ziva handed Tony the sandwich and fruit cup. She asked him if he preferred the milk or the apple juice and he responded, "I'll just have water. You take both."

After they finished eating and the lunch tray was removed, Tony flipped on the TV and found a movie to watch. Ziva scooted over in the bed and motioned for Tony to sit on her left side. He wrapped an arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He rested his head on hers and they sat in silence for a bit, watching the movie.

"Zi?" Tony spoke quietly. "At some point, we are going to have to call someone to help me get one of our cars here. I also need some changes of clothes. Who should we call?"

"Um, are we going to say anything about the baby or why I am here?"

"Not that I planned on; I was just going to say that you're in for observation after the accident and the fight with Bodnar."

"Okay. I do not think we should call Abby, Gibbs, or McGee. Abby and Tim will worry too much and they might tell Gibbs. Also, I am not ready to deal with Gibbs just yet."

"Agreed; Autopsy Gremlin is a possibility, but Vance is out for sure. I think Ducky is the best choice."

"Yes, call Ducky. He knows how to stay quiet if we ask him to, and he will help any way he can."

Tony picked up his phone and pulled up Ducky's contact info. He hit 'call' and listened to the ringing.

"Dr. Mallard."

"Hello, Ducky; it's Tony."

"Hello, Anthony. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Ziva is in the hospital and I'm with her. We came in last night via ambulance. She's here for observation from her injuries from the accident and the fight with Bodnar. I need to ask a favor of you."

"Surely, dear boy."

"I need some clothes and at some point, to get a vehicle here. Would you come to the hospital and get my keys and get me some clothing, please?"

"Yes, I'll gladly help out. In what room is Ziva?"

"318."

"I'll be there in about forty minutes."

"Great, and Ducky, we don't want anyone else to know right now, okay? "

"As you wish."

"Thank you, Ducky." Tony ended the call and updated Ziva on what the doctor had said.

Ziva got up to use the bathroom, and Tony moved back to the chair. He explained to Ziva that since Ducky would be there in less than half an hour, he would stay in the chair until Ducky came back with clothes for Tony. "We don't need to make him suspicious by cuddling when he is here."

After Ziva settled back in the bed, they pair watched the rest of the movie while they waited for Ducky to arrive.

A knock on the door announced the doctor's arrival. "Hello, Ziva; hello, Anthony."

"Come in, Ducky," Ziva smiled at him as he walked over to her. He gave her a hug being careful not to hug too tightly, remembering her shoulder injury.

Tony pulled his keys out of his pocket. "Ducky, here are my keys. This one is for Ziva's apartment. If you could bring me two changes of clothes, that would be much appreciated. Jeans and t shirts are fine. My socks and underwear are in the top drawer of the tall chest. Jeans are in the closet and t shirts are in the second drawer of the chest. Thank you for helping out."

Ziva added, "There should be an empty weekend bag in the lower left side of the closet that you can use to pack it all up. Thank you, Ducky."

Ducky raised an eyebrow at Tony asking him to get the clothes from Ziva's apartment, but said nothing. He took the keys and promised to be back as soon as he could.

Forty five minutes later, he returned with the bag. He still said nothing about getting clothing for Tony from Ziva's apartment nor did he say anything about that he had noticed quite a bit of Tony's clothing in the closet and personal items on the top of the chest. What they did outside of work was none of his concern, and he actually was quite happy that the pair seemed to be finally moving into a relationship. Ducky visited a bit more and then said his goodbyes. "I'll be glad to help you when you decide to get your vehicle, Anthony. Just let me know when!"

"Thanks, Ducky."

About an hour after Ducky left, Dr. Garcia walked into the room. He swung the door for privacy and Tony turned the TV off. He took Ziva's hand in his, and squeezed it lightly.

"I have some good news and some not so good news. First, your baby appears to be healthy and developing normally. However, the new sonograms indicate that the recent injury has bruised part of the uterus and that has caused part of the placenta to separate from the uterine lining. What this means for you is that you are now in a high risk pregnancy, Ziva. We can try to control any adverse reactions from your body with medications that are safe for the baby. The magnesium sulfate is one option and you will be given another dose via IV.

"This also means that we will need to keep you in here another twenty four to forty eight hours for observation and in case something happens."

Tony swallowed hard, "Best case and worst case scenarios?"

"Best case is the pregnancy is normal and you have a healthy baby in six months. Worst case is a miscarriage."

Ziva took a sharp breath in. "No…" she whispered. Tears formed in her eyes, and Tony placed a hand on her cheek. He stroked the back of the hand he was holding with his thumb.

"We are going to think positive, Zi."

"Ye – es, Tony, I think," Ziva was trying to believe that everything would be okay, but she worried that her trauma from Somalia and the recent injuries would be too much for her body to carry the baby to term. Tears spilled from her eyes.

Dr. Garcia continued, "I'm sorry about worrying you. Right now, we just have to wait and help your body heal so that the baby will be safe and carried to term. Resting and avoiding strenuous activity is one way to do that. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Not right now," Ziva responded.

"We need some time to process this new development," Tony explained. "Thank you for being candid with us."

"I'll be back in the morning," Dr. Garcia left the room and he pulled the privacy curtain around the end of the bed as well as pulling the door partially closed as he left. He figured the couple would want some time to digest and discuss the news. They sat and held each other.

Thirty minutes later, Ziva's dinner tray arrived. The grilled chicken, pasta and steamed vegetables smelled delicious. Dessert was a cup of Jell-O and a cup of pudding. There were two containers of milk and another of apple juice. Tony looked at the food, and suggested that Ziva take all of the chicken and at least half of the vegetables. She offered him the pasta and the pudding plus the apple juice, but when he saw her eating the food hungrily, he changed his mind, "You eat the meal, Ziva. I'll go get something from the cafeteria while you are eating. Do you want anything else to eat?"

"A chocolate chip cookie if you can find one, please." Tony gave Ziva a kiss, and left to find himself some food. At the cafeteria, he bought a sandwich, two cookies and an apple, plus a cup of iced tea. He took the food back to Ziva's room and smiled at her when he entered the door. He held up the cookies and she grinned at him.

"One for you and one for me," Tony explained. "If you want the apple, you may have it."

"Toda, Tony." Ziva reached for her cookie, smiling at Tony again. He leaned over and kissed her gently.

"Remember that you're eating for two now, Zi." He grinned at her, that smile that he saved just for her.

After dinner, Tony pulled out a change of clothes from the bag Ducky brought him. He went to the bathroom and showered. He put on the clean clothing, folding the clothes that he had worn for nearly twenty four hours and putting them in a plastic bag. Ziva moved to the side and patted the bed for Tony to sit on her left side.

He sat down, wrapping his arm around her, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. Ziva rested her head on his shoulders, and he rested his head against hers. They sat this way watching a movie on the TV for almost two hours. Ziva's meds were brought in and she took them with a few sips of water from the cup.

The pair fell asleep cuddled in the bed. About 0130, Tony awoke to Ziva moaning and moving in her sleep, spooned into him. He immediately realized that she was having a nightmare, and loosely wrapped his arms around her. He whispered the words he knew would calm her in her ear, "I'm here, Ziva. It's Tony and I have you safe. It's okay; you are having a nightmare. I have you. Ani ohev otach, Ziva. Ani ohev otach." He felt her relax into his arms, and when she whispered, "Ani ohevet otcha, Tony," he knew she was awake.

"It was bad this time, Tony. He was trying to take my baby, OUR baby." Ziva's voiced hitched, and he could tell she was trying not to cry.

"You can cry, Zi, I'll hold you as long as you need." Tony was glad she felt safe in his arms, and he was also a bit relieved that she was spooned, so that she could not see the tears in his eyes. They fell back asleep until almost 0630 when Ziva awoke with sharp pains in her abdomen. Tony sat up quickly when he realized that she was in pain, and was about to call the nurse when Dr. Garcia walked into the room.

"What is it, Tony?"

"She's in pain, doc. It seems to be really bad. Started about fifteen minutes ago. I was just about to call the nurse's station."

Dr. Garcia moved over to Ziva, who was curled into the fetal position on her left side. "Ziva, where does it hurt?"

"Abdomen," she gasped between stabbing pains. She suddenly felt something wet and sticky between her legs and moaned loudly. "I think I am bleeding again."

The doctor asked her to roll to her back, "I know it hurts, but I need to take a look and also feel your abdomen." Ziva nodded and reached for Tony's hand. He interlaced his fingers with hers, and used his other hand to turn her face towards him.

"Look at me, Ziva. Focus on me." Tony met her gaze, squeezing her hand lightly. She tightened her grasp on his hand and took a sharp breath in as Dr. Garcia palpated her abdomen.

"Tony, hit the call button, please." Tony did as he was asked.

"Nurse's station."

"This is Dr. Jose' Garcia with Ziva David in 318; bring the portable ultrasound cart to the room STAT."

"Yes, sir."

Ziva's eyes said it all, PANIC. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and Tony gently stroked her face with his free hand, wiping the tears away. He was trying very hard not to cry himself as he asked the doctor what was wrong.

"I think your baby is in distress. We are going to do a quick sonogram and then decide on a course of action." The cart and tech arrived as he said that. Ziva's tears fell faster and she held Tony's hand tightly. He couldn't stop his own tears at this point, and said a silent prayer that their child would be okay.

The tech quickly applied the gel and pulled up an image. Dr. Garcia took one look and told the nurse to find out when the OB/GYN surgery room was open. She came back in a few minutes, "It's available now."

"Prep her for a move to surgery." The doctor could see both Tony and Ziva watching him. "You are having a miscarriage, Ziva. I'm so sorry, but your injuries are too severe to let your body carry the baby to term. We'll go to the OR and perform a D&C: dilation and curettage. That procedure removes the contents of the uterus, in this case the fetus, the placenta and the uterine lining that was supporting the baby. What I saw on the ultrasound is that your baby's heart has stopped beating and the sac has separated from the uterine wall. Again, I'm so sorry."

Ziva was prepped for the move to the OR, and Tony walked as far as he could with her. In the waiting area, he sat with his head in his hands, tears falling freely. He picked up his phone, and sent a text message to Ducky, 'Ziva in surgery. Will let you know when she is out. Please don't say anything to the others yet. T'

Within a few minutes Ducky sent a reply, 'I can come there if you need me.'

'Not yet, but thanks, Ducky. Need to process this in my head first.' Tony put the phone back in his pocket. He got up and went to the restroom near the waiting area. He splashed water over his face, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked like hell and he felt worse. Better to get the tears out now, so he could be strong for Ziva after the surgery. He sat back in the waiting room, staring at nothing with thoughts swirling around in his head. He had actually started to feel excited about becoming parents, and was looking forward to meeting their baby in six months or so. He felt as though his heart had been ripped out. The last time he had felt this way was when his mother died.

"Watch over our baby, Mommy. Help me and Ziva through this, please," Tony whispered. He closed his eyes, wanting the pain to go away, but knowing that it would never leave.

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, Dr. Garcia was gently shaking him awake. "Tony, Ziva is in recovery. She came through the procedure just fine physically. From what I can tell, you should have no problem getting pregnant again in three to six months, if you choose. She should be able to carry a baby to term in the future; you just need to give her body time to heal."

Tony nodded, his heart broken, "When can I see her?"

"She should be back in her room in about an hour, but she will probably sleep for several hours."

"Okay. Thanks, I guess."

The doctor put a hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed gently, "It's okay to hurt and let her see that you are hurting too. She's going to need you as she recovers. I'll be by this evening to check on her and answer any questions you both may have. I'm so sorry, Tony."

Tony nodded and watched the doctor leave. He wandered to the cafeteria and bought himself another sandwich and a cup of iced tea. As he ate at one of the tables in the cafeteria, he decided to make sure Ziva got back to her room okay and then have Ducky take him to get his car. He would get some clothing for Ziva to wear when she was discharged and take his dirty clothes home. After he finished his food, he wandered back to Ziva's room. The bed had been freshly made and the room tidied. Tony sat in the chair and flipped on the TV, not really watching but taking comfort from the familiar background noise and images. About an hour after he got back to the room, Ziva was moved back.

She was sleeping and the orderly moved her to the bed. Tony took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over the back of it. She looked so vulnerable and sad in her slumber. His heart broke all over again. He vowed to himself that they would get through this, they would be each other's support system and it would make them stronger together. "Ani ohev otach, Ziva," he whispered over and over as he used his free hand to caress her face and head.

A nurse came to check on Ziva. "How long will she sleep?" Tony asked.

"Probably at least four or five hours."

"Thanks." Tony decided to call Ducky after the nurse left. He pulled his phone from his pocket and swiped the screen, pulling up Ducky's contact info. He pressed call and waited for the answer on the other end.

"Doctor Mallard."

"Ducky," Tony's voice broke.

"Anthony, what is it?" The doctor's voice spoke his concern.

"I'll explain when you get here, Ducky. How soon can you come?"

"In about an hour okay?"

"Yes. Come to Ziva's room. And, Duck, not a word to anyone yet, please. I'll be getting my car today as well. Thanks."

"I will see you shortly, Anthony." Ducky ended the call and prepared to head to the hospital.


	5. Grief

Chapter 5: Grief

As Tony waited for Ducky to arrive, he made a list of all of the things he needed to get from Ziva's apartment. He had shut off the TV when Ziva was brought into the room. He also took their Song of Solomon rings from his pocket and put both on Ziva's neck chain. He slipped the chain around her neck with her Star of David necklace and put his watch around her left wrist. He wrote a note to her and propped it on the night stand with her phone. He didn't expect her to wake while he was gone, but just in case, he wanted her to know where he went.

' _Went to get the car and some more clothes for both of us. Ducky is taking me to our apt. Back soon. T_ '

He bent over Ziva and kissed her forehead, "Ani ohev otach, Ziva." He kissed her lips lightly and she hummed in her sleep. "Ani ohev otach."

Ducky walked in as Tony was kissing Ziva; he stayed quietly just inside the door until Tony stood up.

"Hello, Anthony."

"Hey, Duck. Thanks for coming. Let me grab the bag and my keys and stuff so we can go. I want to get back as soon as possible. I need to be here when she wakes up."

Ducky nodded and waited for Tony to gather his things. The two walked in silence to the elevator and rode to the ground floor. Tony followed Ducky to the parking lot. Ducky stayed quiet, knowing Tony would talk when he was ready. He unlocked the car and Tony got in the passenger seat, placing his bag on the floor between his feet.

Ducky started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. At the first light, he glanced over at Tony, who was quietly crying.

"Anthony?"

"Yeah, Duck?"

"Whenever you are ready to talk."

"Okay." Tony wiped at his eyes and nose and stared out the window a few minutes. As Ducky started forward when the light changed, he spoke. "Duck, it's just so unfair. She's been through enough already this year. I feel like my heart has been ripped out.

"She had a miscarriage, Duck. We saw the baby's heart beating just yesterday and now no more baby."

Ducky moved his hand to Tony's arm. He patted lightly, silently encouraging Tony to let the grief out.

"The accident and the fight with Bodnar were just too much for her body to take. I don't know what to do, Duck? How do I help her through this when I can barely keep it together?" Tony's tears started falling again and he let them flow.

"Anthony, I am so sorry. Did you know she was pregnant?"

"No, we found out less than thirty six hours ago when she went to the ER with abdominal pains. If I had known, she never would have fought with Bodnar, that's for sure. She was about twelve weeks…" Tony trailed off as a new round of tears fell.

"You need to be there for her, but also share your grief. You have both suffered a devastating loss and you will need each other to get through. Let her see you grieving, and it's okay to let her see you cry, Anthony. And both of you can come to me any time."

"Thanks, Ducky." Tony was silent for the remainder of the drive to Ziva's apartment. "How did you know to go to Ziva's apartment?"

"Just a hunch," Ducky patted Tony's arm again. "Tell her how you feel, not just about your loss, but about her, Anthony. She needs to know."

Tony nodded. As Ducky pulled into the parking lot for Ziva's building, he turned to the old doctor, "Thank you, Ducky." He pulled the man into a hug. "Thank you."

Tony grabbed the bag and quickly went into the building with his list. He grabbed another change of clothes for himself, his toothbrush and razor, and underwear, one of his OSU shirts, a pair of jogging pants and shoes and socks for Ziva. As he looked around to see if anything else would be needed, he spotted the two blue bears on the bookshelf in the living room. One was his from when he was a child and the other Ziva had won at a carnival in October. He put both in the bag with the clothing and headed out to his car.

Once in the car, he sent a text to Ziva's phone, just in case she awoke before he got back, ' _On the way back. Should be there in fifteen min._ ' He drove as quickly as he dared without breaking any laws. He just wanted to be back with Ziva as fast as possible. He sprinted across the parking lot, and lucked out when the elevator doors opened as he approached. He walked quickly to Ziva's room, Ducky's words still in his head. He would show her how he felt by being by her side and letting her grieve with him and grieving with her. Ziva was still sleeping soundly when he walked in the room.

He put the bag down on the chair and took Ziva's hand in his. He caressed her face with his other hand, speaking softly to her, "WE will get through this together, Ziva. Ani ohev otach. I will be by your side always, Zi." He kissed her lips softly and then sat in the chair, keeping her hand in his. He thought about climbing onto the bed with her, and just holding her in his arms as she slept, but he was afraid he'd wake her. He reached into the bag and put the two bears on the nightstand, posing them as if they were hugging each other.

He sat and watched her sleep. The love he felt for her almost overwhelmed him. He would have to figure out a way to make sure she knew how much he loved her. He really couldn't live without her; been there, done that; wouldn't repeat it, EVER. They would get through this loss, together and move forward, together. He would do whatever she needed to help her and to help himself. Hell, he'd get her the damn moon if she wanted it. When the time was right, they would have a healthy baby and be parents, together.

Ziva stirred around 1330, and Tony squeezed her hand. "I'm here with you, Ziva." He picked up their intertwined hands and placed a kiss on the back of her hand. She smiled in her sleep, but just shifted position. She finally awoke about 1410, opening her eyes to see Tony watching her.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," she replied. "Tony, I… would you hold me, please?" She shifted over in the bed and he carefully got in next to her. He faced her and drew her to him, wrapping his arms around her. "Toda."

They held each other; foreheads pressed together, eyes locked into each other's gaze. Tears fell from both of them and they wept together for the devastating loss they had experienced. "It won't be easy, Zi, but we will get through this together," Tony whispered.

Ziva nodded and replied softly, "I know. TOGETHER."

They fell asleep wrapped together, and were awakened by the delivery of Ziva's dinner tray. The person delivering the meal looked at Tony. "I have a tray for the man across the hall but he was discharged this afternoon. I'm not supposed to do this, but here." She handed the tray to Tony.

"Thanks." Tony smiled at her. She left to deliver the rest of the meals. He turned to Ziva, "Remind me to give Ducky an update after we eat. He knows, Zi. I sort of lost it when he drove me to get the car, and it all overwhelmed me."

"That is okay. Ducky is a good man," Ziva was glad that Tony was able to talk to Ducky.

The meal was a hamburger with lettuce, tomato and cheese on the side; tater tots, carrot and celery sticks and a piece of chocolate cake. Each tray also had a container of milk and a container of apple juice. Ziva ate half of her burger and handed the other half to Tony. He finished his burger and then ate the half she gave him.

As they were finishing the meal, Dr. Garcia entered the room. "Good evening, Ziva and Tony. How are you feeling, Ziva?"

"I… well, there is no pain. I am still a bit sore, but it is better." Tony noticed that Ziva had gone into 'Mossad mode' again. "I will be fine."

Tony took Ziva's hand in his as she fought tears. "It's okay to cry, Zi. We've lost something important and it's okay to grieve for our baby."

"I feel broken, Tony. Director Vance said it years ago, I am damaged goods."

"No, Ziva. If we want a child we can try again."

Dr. Garcia spoke up, "He's right, Ziva. Give your body about four to six months to heal and you can try again. You know now that you CAN conceive. Next time, you will know to watch for signs of pregnancy and you can get prenatal care from the beginning."

"I told you back then and I'll keep telling you, Ziva, I can't live without you. WE will move forward together." Tony stroked her face with his hand and met her gaze. "Ducky has offered to help in any way he can. You know he is a good listener if you need to talk to someone."

"I need time to sort through all of this."

"I do too, but I promise not to shut you out. Will you do the same for me, Zi? It's important that WE talk and share."

Ziva nodded and caressed Tony's face with her hand. "I promise, Tony."

"I'll be by in the morning and most likely you will be discharged around lunch time tomorrow. I'll have discharge instructions for you and we'll schedule a follow up in about a month. Any questions?"

Both Tony and Ziva shook their heads no, and thanked the doctor.

"Good night," Dr. Garcia headed out to his next patient.

Ziva moved to the side and motioned for Tony to sit on the bed, "Hold me, Tony, please." He moved next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I won't let go until you want me to, I've got you, Ziva." Tony kissed her head and pulled her to him. She leaned into his embrace, tears slowly falling down her cheeks. Tony wiped her tears as his own rolled down his cheeks. "Ani ohev otach," he whispered.

Tony woke about three hours later to Ziva sobbing in his arms. He wiped her face, and kissed her cheek. "It's okay to cry, Ziva." She nodded that she understood what he said and sobbed harder. Tony's heart broke at hearing her sobs and he started crying, sobbing with her. They held each other as they sobbed, grief pouring off them like water.

Ziva hiccupped and tried to speak, "Tony, I… I am so… sorry. Our baby died… because of me."

"No, Ziva. Did you cause the accident? NO. Did you throw your body at the railing? NO. Ilan Bodnar is the one responsible for both. If anyone caused the baby to die, it was him." Tony would not let Ziva blame herself. He would stop that kind of thinking any way he could.

"But, Tony, I should have known."

"How, Ziva? You thought you couldn't get pregnant, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what to look for as signs of pregnancy, other than a missed period?"

"No."

"So, how could you have known?" Tony wanted to change her thinking as quickly as possible. There was no way he would let her blame herself for their loss.

"I… I could… not have… known." Ziva admitted. She started to say something else and Tony put his finger over her lips.

"Correct; you could not have known." Ziva looked into Tony's eyes. She saw love, pure love, and no blame, no hate, no anger. How could he be so understanding when she herself could not understand?

"Tony, do you blame me? Do you see me at fault in this?"

"No, Ziva. God, no. I could never blame you or be angry at you. Not ever; well, only if you try to blame yourself."

Ziva sighed, "I feel so empty inside. I feel like a part of me is missing."

Tony nodded, "I know. I feel that same emptiness and that I lost a part of me. And, you know what, it hurts like hell. I want to scream, I want to punch something, I want to find Bodnar's body and demolish it. Destroy it so there are no recognizable pieces."

Ziva was surprised at the anger in Tony's voice. She could understand what he was saying, though, because she wanted to do the same thing. "So where do we direct that anger?"

"I don't know, Zi. But I refuse to let it consume me and rule my life. WE will work this through together, that I do know. It's you and me, kid." Ziva smiled at Tony through her tears; leave it to Tony to use a movie reference to make her smile.

"This is not easy, sharing these feelings, Tony. But I do know that it is helping me to talk with you. I also think we should keep cuddling and holding each other. It brings me comfort to be in your arms."

"It's not easy for me, either, Ziva. I am used to joking to bury feelings. Holding you and being held by you also brings me comfort." Tony drew Ziva to him in a hug, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his forehead against hers. "We will take this one day at a time; one hour at a time; hell, one minute at a time if that's what we need."


	6. Life Goes On

Chapter 6: Life Goes On

Ziva was discharged the following morning and Tony brought her home. She was moving around much better and seemed to be healing from the bruises from the accident and fight. He knew that both of them would need time to process, grieve and move forward from the loss of the baby. He also knew that while they could and would move on, they would never heal completely nor forget the loss.

Since Ziva was discharged on a Friday, the pair had a weekend to be at home, and get ready to go back to work on Monday. On Friday evening, they both talked to Ducky on the phone, thanking the doctor for his help and also for understanding that they wanted to keep the loss of their baby private. Ducky had not said a word to anyone, even about Ziva being in the hospital.

Several times over the weekend, they talked about feelings about the loss, especially when one of them would be overwhelmed and teary-eyed thinking about the miscarriage. They sought solace and comfort in the other, spending much time wrapped together, feeling the touch of the other as a source of comfort. Ziva had been surprised the first time Tony broke down sobbing uncontrollably and had opened her arms to him without saying anything. Tony had shared how he had asked his mother to watch over their baby and to help the couple through their grieving when Ziva was in surgery. Ziva had teared up when he spoke, and she ended up sobbing with him.

On Monday morning, they held hands as the pair stepped off the elevator and walked to the bullpen. In between their desks, Tony gave Ziva a gentle kiss on the lips and squeezed her hand, looking into her eyes and pouring all the love he felt for her into his gaze. He whispered to her, "Ani ohev otach, Ziva."

Ziva whispered back, "Ani ohevet otcha, Tony." She smiled at him and put a hand on his face, putting all the love she felt for him into her touch and her gaze.

Tim watched the two and as they moved to their desks, he greeted them.

"Good morning," Tim smiled at both. "Did you have a good weekend?"

Ziva and Tony looked at each other, and Tony spoke, "We had some much needed down time."

Tim started to ask what the pair had done when Ziva cut him off, "Thank you for asking, Tim." She sat down at her desk and logged on to her computer as Tony did the same. They shared another look, and then turned to their screens.

Gibbs walked into the bullpen about ten minutes later, coffee in hand. "David, DiNozzo, my office, now."

"Yes, Gibbs."

"Yes, Boss." Tony looked at Ziva and shrugged. She returned the look and followed Gibbs to the elevator.

Gibbs hit the switch and looked at his two agents. They were standing side by side, and he swore that they had been holding hands until he looked directly at them. "What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing, Boss." Tony spoke quickly, hoping that would shut down the conversation. Neither he nor Ziva really wanted to have a discussion about their time off right now. They both needed time to grieve and to process their loss before they decided to share or not with anyone.

"Nothing, Gibbs." Ziva found herself reaching for Tony's hand, hoping Gibbs would not notice. She really needed to touch him and feel his touch if Gibbs persisted in his questioning. Their fingers interlocked and they moved closer, trying to partially hide their interlaced hands.

"Well, I hope your time off was what you needed. Weren't home, that much I know." Gibbs had gone by both apartments after work on the day Ziva had been admitted to the hospital. He had been worried about Ziva's injuries and had just gone to check on her. He had noticed both vehicles parked in the lot for Ziva's building.

"Much needed down time, Boss." Tony wasn't volunteering any information. He figured the less he said the less Gibbs would get out of them.

Ziva nodded her agreement with Tony's statement. "Very much needed!"

"Okay. Anything in general that you aren't telling me?" Gibbs was trying to get the pair to admit what he already knew; they were together and had been for some time.

Tony was about to say, 'Nope," when something about the look in Gibbs' eyes made him change his mind. "We're together, Boss." He held up their interlocked hands.

Ziva squeezed Tony's hand, and looked at Gibbs. "I… rule twelve… not sorry…"

"Not one bit sorry, Boss!" Tony echoed Ziva's sentiment; since they had quit dancing around their feelings for each other, life had been generally great, the events of the past week not included.

"About time you two admitted it!" Gibbs switched the elevator back on and they all went out to their desks to work on reports and forms from the past two weeks' cases.

~Aftermath~

When Ziva's one month follow up appointment came around, both Tony and Ziva were no longer working for NCIS. They had resigned, along with Tim McGee, in response to Gibbs' arrest by Parsons. At the appointment, Dr. Garcia noted that Ziva was healing well physically and that she and Tony should be able to try again for a baby in two months or so, if they wanted. He asked how they were doing emotionally, and both responded positively. "We've been talking and sharing as we work through the loss," Tony shared.

Ziva nodded, "We share feelings and help each other with the sadness. Thank you for all of your suggestions and help with this." She took Tony's hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze as she intertwined their fingers. "We shall see about a baby in the future."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next part coming soon... as a new story. I watched "Family First" rerun in January/February and the nagging thought (that had been there since May 2016) that something was off with Ziva supposedly keeping her pregnancy and Tali's birth from Tony would not go away. Also, Tony was upset but not angry, and there had to be a part of the story that Orli did not know and that Tony did. Hence this work and its predecessor, "The Post-Elevator Us," as well as the two stand-alone companion works for season 10 ("Inevitable" and "Dinner With Schmeil.") The next two will go into the summer and the early fall of 2013 (just beyond Past, Present, Future,) and then Tali's birth. Currently both are WIPs; for my followers, I do not publish a story until it's complete, so these two may take a bit to be published. In the meantime, I have plenty of other completed "You Complete Me" universe stories to publish.
> 
> Thanks to all who have left kudos and just read the story.


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